PRIMROSE ACRES
by Heartwings
Summary: Set post Endgame, Kathryn's dream home is anything but in a story that will have you both laughing and crying as Janeway and Chakotay come to grips with repairing their relationship and their lives when they get back to Earth.


**PRIMROSE ACRES**

"My gods, Katie, is this house in California or Oregon? How much farther?" Phoebe asked as she dug her hand into the bag again. "Want some chips?"

Kathryn shot her a dirty look before she returned her focus to the road. "No, Phoebe, and if you spill them and mess up my new car, I'll be an only child! It's not that much farther, I had to look at houses this far out and in a neighborhood like Primrose Acres because I need the privacy, I'm sick and tired of the press hounding me. It's a gated community with security guards, so it comes with privacy and I hope you like this house as much as I did, I think it may be the one! The realtor is going to meet us there, she said I had to make up my mind today or risk losing it because someone else is going to look at it tomorrow and I really want your opinion. There's a lot I like about it, but some things I don't and it's an awfully lot of money to spend, so I need help to make up my mind."

"Well, Katie, it would be a long commute to Starfleet, have you thought about that?"

"Yes, but I don't mind driving, I think it would be worth it for the peace and quiet. Phoebe, I'm done gallivanting and I just want to settle down now and put out some roots."

"Are you sure, Katie? That doesn't sound like you, you didn't join Starfleet to fly a desk."

Kathryn took a sip of her coffee and sat it back down. "I love this car, I bought it because it has great cup holders! Yes, I've given it a lot of thought and I think it's time for me to settle down. Admiral Paris told me I should be promoted to admiral by the end of the year and I'm happy about that. I had enough travel and adventure in the last seven years to last me the rest of my life and I'm really looking forward to a nine to five job and you know how happy Mom is about that."

"I know," Phoebe capitulated, "She's real happy about it and to honest I am too, but I just hope you'll be."

The realtor met them at the house and Kathryn and Phoebe toured the house and grounds. It was a large house, much larger than one person needed, but Phoebe did have to agree with Kathryn that too much space was better than not enough. The neighborhood was certainly quiet and attractive and had the added bonus of being gated, so Kathryn's privacy would be guaranteed. The realtor left them to discuss the house together in private and went outside to make some calls.

"Well, what do you think, Phoebe?"

"I like it, it certainly is impressive, but it's awfully big. Are you sure you can manage all this by yourself, Katie? It's a lot to take care of for just one person."

"I know, but I'm looking forward to it. There's plenty of room, so all of you can come visit me, and the kids will love the pool. Listen, all you can hear is the birds singing, it's so quiet here, almost like the farm in Indiana, and, except for that one house next door, you can barely even see any other houses. I know it's 'impressive' as you say, but I really want the privacy of a gated community. That's the appeal to me, not the fancy address."

Phoebe went to the window and looked out. "You're right, but that house next door is awfully close, do you know who lives there?"

"Yes, an elderly lady named Mrs. Westerman. I met her the last time I was here to look at the house and she's very sweet, the perfect neighbor. She has a cute little dog, so, when I get a dog, maybe they can play together? What do you think, Phoebe, does this feel like home to you?"

Phoebe put her arm around her sister. "Yes, Katie, it does, so I say, if you can afford it, go for it!"

"Well, until I get my admiral's raise, it'll be tight, but I can afford it as long as I keep a strict budget and wait a while to get more furniture or do any major remodeling."

A month later Kathryn proudly opened the door to her new house to let the movers carry in her belongings. Fortunately, when her mother sold her old house, she had all Kathryn's things moved back to the farm and stuck them in the attic, hoping she would be home one day and need them again. After the movers left, Kathryn toured her new home and suddenly realized how empty it looked as her old house was much smaller and she didn't have nearly enough furniture to fill the much larger new home. The sellers had it beautifully furnished and it looked so welcoming and homey with their things, but Kathryn had to admit it looked rather cold and barren and somewhat pathetic now."

Opening one of her cargo containers from Voyager, she began to place her little mementos and decorative items around the house and it started to look more like a home. By the end of the day, as she relaxed in her deluxe spa bath tub, one of the major selling points Kathryn giggled to herself, she realized it was going to take several days to get the house in order and make it more homey.

The next morning was a lovely sunny day, so she decided to take a good look at the yard and make some plans to personalize it. The previous homeowners had kept it up well and it was attractively landscaped, but they were obviously not into gardening, so Kathryn decided it needed some flower beds, and the lawn was definitely in need of mowing. She checked the storage shed out back and, as promised, they had left her their lawn mower and a few gardening tools as they had moved to a condominium and no longer had need of them. Kathryn pulled out the mower and suddenly realized that she had an awfully large yard to mow and her budget was so tight she would have to do it herself, at least for a while. The mower was on old hover mower that needed to be manually guided, "Oh great!" she said as she tinkered with it.

"Well, it'll have to do for now, I just hope it works!" she prayed as she crossed her fingers and activated it. The mower initially protested, but finally settled down and started cropping off the grass to a more civil height. She went up and down the side of the yard a few times, pleased that what she had cut looked almost as good as Mrs. Westerman's neatly manicured lawn next door. As she turned the mower at the street and started back again, it suddenly started wobbling, digging into the dirt on one side and leaving the grass tall on the other, while producing a loud screeching noise. She shut it off and flipped it over to see what the problem was.

"Need some help?" a friendly voice shouted from next door.

"Yes, I'm afraid I might, thank you." Kathryn replied as she stood and shaded her eyes from the bright morning sun so she could see the approaching figure. "Chakotay, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Kathryn?" he asked incredulously, as she was about the last person on earth he expected to see.

She slammed her hands on her hips. "What are you doing here, following me? How did you get past the guard at the gate?"

He mimicked her gesture. "Me? What are you doing here?"

"I live here!" she shouted.

He pointed to the house next door. "Well, so do I!"

Kathryn scratched her head. "What? No, Mrs. Westerman lives next door. Get out of here, I really don't want to see you, I'm not interested, got it? I'm really sorry your Borg babe dumped you, but I'd rather have bamboo shoved under my fingernails than to see you! Get out of here, Chakotay or I'll call security, I mean it!"

He took a few tentative steps towards her and chose to ignore her comment. "Kathryn, I really do live next door, Mrs. Westerman is my landlady; I moved in about two weeks ago. From what I was told, she had a bad fall and isn't doing well, so she moved in with her daughter in San Diego and probably won't be able to come back. What are you doing here? When I looked at the house, the agent told me a nice family named the Beckmans lived next door; I thought they were on vacation."

"Beckham," she corrected, "They did, I bought the house from them, they moved out a week or so ago." She rubbed her forehead. 'You really live there?"

He mustered a little smile. "Yes, Kathryn, I do, and I had no idea you lived next door, honest. How about you let me take a look at your mower? Mine is the same kind, so I bet I can fix it, and maybe we can talk a little?"

"I'd say it's a hell of a coincidence!" she shouted, "And I don't believe you, you're not exactly very good at honesty. Well, you're just going to have to move out as this obviously isn't going to work."

"What? That's ridiculous! You can move, Kathryn, I was here first, or are you just chasing me?" His hands returned to his hips as he went on the offensive.

"Don't be absurd! Why the hell would I want to have anything to do with you… you who stabbed me in the back in the worst way possible? Go pack your bags and find another place to live, Primrose Acres isn't big enough for both of us!"

"Well, it'll have to be, I signed a one year lease with an option to buy and I like it here, Janeway!"

"Damn you, you two timing backstabbing bastard!" she shouted as she ran back towards her house.

"Frigid bitch!" he shouted at her as he got a wicked grin and kicked her mower so hard the stabilizers would undoubtedly never realign properly.

Kathryn bolted back into her house, slammed the door and threw herself on the sofa to have a good cry. If there were one man she didn't want to see, it was Chakotay. He had been her best friend, but he had also started dating Seven behind her back, and she could never get over that nor that her steadfast adherence to Starfleet protocols had caused her to lose the most remarkable man and best friend she had ever known. Chakotay had tried to talk to her when she found out, but she had kept a stiff upper lip, said she was happy for him and found every excuse to avoid him through their remaining days in the Delta Quadrant, the debriefings when they returned home and all the press conferences and official functions, until they were dismissed with six months of leave. Seven she could excuse somewhat as sensitivity to the feelings of others wasn't exactly a skill she had perfected and she may not have been the one that initiated it, but Chakotay of all people should have known better! Kathryn did the only thing she could think of and called her sister.

"Katie, what's wrong?" Phoebe asked as she looked at Kathryn's tear streaked face.

Kathryn tried to suck it in and lost it again as she sobbed loudly, "My damn lawn mower won't work right!"

Phoebe sat back and laughed. "Katie, you're this upset about a lawn mower? Come on, what's wrong, don't you like the house?"

"NO!" she sobbed.

"Why, what's wrong?"

"The bastard next door!" she screamed.

Phoebe was totally confused. "What do you mean, I thought an old lady lived next door? You said you met her and she's sweet. Katie, what happened? Stop crying and tell me! Somehow I don't think a lawn mower or a little old lady caused all this."

Kathryn rubbed her face on her shirttail and composed herself somewhat. "No, she left, moved in with her daughter, had a fall or something, oh, I don't know. Phoebe, I nearly dropped dead when I saw him, Chakotay is living next door, he rented her house!"

"No way! He's the bastard that dumped you for the big boobed blonde Borg automaton, isn't he? He was your first officer, right?" Kathryn nodded as she blew her nose and wiped her face again. "Katie, I bet he's following you and just trying to get you back. She dumped him when you got back, right?"

"Well, I don't know the particulars, who dumped who or if it was amicable or even how far it went. He tried to tell me it was nothing serious once, maybe he was lying, maybe he wasn't, but I shut him up before he explained anything. He moved in a couple weeks ago, he said, so I don't think he knew I'd bought this house as I haven't even told anyone at Starfleet yet. Phoebe, I can't live next door to him, I just can't!"

"Katie, what are you going to do, move?"

"You know I can't do that, I just bought this house and I like it and, anyway, there's no way I could afford to move, I can't even afford to buy a new lawn mower! I had to spend way more to move in than I thought and I hardly have enough for groceries until I get paid again at the end of the month."

Phoebe smiled as Kathryn finally calmed down a bit. "Well, I'd offer to help you out, but I took so much time off work when you got back I'm afraid we're a bit strapped right now too, but I could probably get together some groceries for you."

Kathryn waved her hand and mustered a faint smile. "No, no, I wasn't asking for a loan, I'll be OK, I just won't be eating anything fancy or buying any new stuff for a while, but I'll manage. Phoebe, seeing him again nearly tore my heart out, what am I going to do?"

"Well, the way I look at it, you have two choices. You can either get on with your life and ignore him or try to make his life miserable so he moves out. Kathryn, you went on and on about him like he was the greatest thing since coffee in your letters; isn't there some way maybe the two of you could get back together or at least talk it out and bury the hatchet?"

Kathryn took a sip from her glass and sighed. "Oh no, it's a little late in the day, that ship has sailed." She took another sip and got a wicked grin. "I know, maybe I can take up the drums or Klingon bass horn and practice six hours a day? You know I've always regretted not learning to play an instrument!"

"Kathryn Janeway, are you drinking this early in the day, are you that upset?"

She held up her glass, toasted the comm link screen and laughed. "No, it's just water in a martini glass. I haven't unpacked the kitchen yet except for the coffee maker and a mug, of course, and it was the first glass I could find. Oh, another added misery I discovered this morning, my replicator doesn't work. It was old when I left, so no big surprise, but I can't afford a new one right now, so I may have to actually cook. Thanks for talking to me, Phoebe, I feel better. I'm going to go to the grocery store and then see what I can do with my lawn mower and think of ways to annoy the hell out of him so he moves!"

Phoebe put her hand to the screen. "OK, I have to get back to work, but just don't do anything I have to bail you out for, OK?"

"I promise, no bodies, no witnesses," Kathryn said as she touched the screen too.

"Chakotay, what's wrong? You never call me at work," his sister Suleya said as she dismissed her assistant from her office and settled back in her chair. "I can see by your face something is wrong, so tell me. Did the teaching job fall through?"

"No, it's fine, I start tomorrow, two anthropology classes at the institute, but just for a semester, until I return to duty. No, it's worse than that, I have a new neighbor next door."

"Oh, that big old stone house? What, are they noisy or something, have a lot of bratty kids or a loud band that practices in the garage?" She asked as she took a sip of her tea.

"Worse! I thought the people next door were on vacation, but apparently they moved, I didn't even know the house was for sale." He sighed and buried his face in his hands. "Suli, Kathryn Janeway bought the house next door!"

She giggled, "So, I thought you liked her?"

He chuckled a little before his chin settled into his hands. "I thought I did too, but she's a bitch, totally unreasonable, she told me I 'had' to move. Who does she think she is thinking she can still order me around?"

"Chakotay, have you tried talking to her?"

"I tried, I've tried a hundred times, but she won't listen to me. She was always good at being both judge and jury and, heaven knows, the little bitch is used to getting her way, those damn four pips! Trust me, I'm better off with her out of my life. Suli, I loved this house when I saw it and was so lucky I found it and could afford to rent it. I really like it here, the privacy and peace and quiet, and I don't want to move, but living next door to her is going to be pure hell just as sure as I'm sitting here."

Suleya laughed, "Chakotay, I saw her, she's a little pipsqueak of a woman, how much trouble could she be?"

"Why don't you ask the Borg Queen about that?" he grinned.

"Well, my brother, she doesn't have a starship in Primrose Acres and, contrary to what she may think, she can't order you around, so I suggest you just ignore the prissy little snot and get on with your life. What did you ever see in that woman anyhow?"

"If you only knew!" he sighed.

Suleya rolled her eyes. "Well, some of us have work to do, so I'm going to get back to it and I suggest you just ignore that pint sized prima donna next door and get on with your life or else call an exterminator! Talk to you later."

Chakotay grinned as he cut the link and rubbed his chin, "Humm, exterminate her?"

Kathryn had never really had to worry about the cost of groceries before, but she still had a lot of month to go before there would be more money, so she knew she had to shop carefully and prioritize. Coffee went in her shopping cart first, then toilet paper, bread, some peanut butter to go with the homemade jelly her mother had given her, spaghetti and spaghetti sauce, macaroni and cheese dinners, a box of oatmeal, soup and crackers, rice, and a few fruits and vegetables. She thought about it and put a lot of the vegetables back, she could get homegrown vegetables from her mother. "The peas stay, what would life be without peas?" she said to herself as she roamed around and thought about what little luxury items she could afford. Real chicken was too expensive, so she opted for a package of synthetic chicken and headed to the junk food aisle to contemplate items devoid of any nutritional value, but wonderfully tasty. She roamed up and down the aisle and finally tossed a twelve pack of cherry Pop-Tarts into her cart, with fond memories of how her mother refused to buy them when she was little because 'they're just chemicals, Katie, there's no real food in them!' Satisfied she had enough to last and needed to lose a little weight anyhow, Kathryn headed to the check out and then home.

When she got home Kathryn put her groceries away and changed into her old clothes again to go out and see what she could do with her lawn mower. She dragged it to the garage, got her tool kit and took a look. "Damn, the stabilizers are totally messed up, I wonder how that could have happened?" she cursed as she started working on it. Kathryn spied a well dressed woman with a camera coming up the driveway and immediately swore under her breath, wondering how a reporter had managed to find her less then twenty four hours after she'd moved into the house and then evade the community's security sensors and guard posted at the entrance. She stood and held her hand out in front of her face to block a photo op. "Get away from me, I'm not doing any more interviews, I've had enough of you maggots invading my privacy! Get out of here or I'll call security!"

"Maggot? Well, I never!" the woman said as she indignantly tipped up her pearl encrusted chins. "I'm Margaret Peabody Wentworth, chairperson of the Primrose Acres Civic Association."

Kathryn blushed and grabbed a rag to wipe her hand before she extended it. "Please, forgive me, I thought you were a reporter. I'm Kathryn Janeway, nice to meet you, Ma'am. I suppose you're here to welcome me to the neighborhood?"

Mrs. Wentworth extended her hand slightly, looked at Kathryn's grimy one, thought better of it, and withdrew her neatly manicured diamond studded digits. "Not quite. It seems we've already had a complaint about you, Mrs. Janeway, is it?"

"Yes, Kathryn Janeway, Miss Janeway actually. Oh, what is it? My heavens, I haven't even lived here but a day and someone complained?"

Mrs. Wentworth took out her PADD. "Yes, we have strict guidelines and very high standards here in Primrose Acres to insure the community remains the safe and pleasant neighborhood to which we are entitled. You agreed to them and were given a copy when you bought your house. Haven't you read them?"

Kathryn kept trying to wipe her hands clean. "Well, no, I haven't exactly had a chance yet, Mrs. Wentworth, I just moved in yesterday, but what could possibly be wrong?"

The woman pointed to the front yard before she snapped a picture of it. "Your lawn, the grass is unkempt and entirely too tall. If you will refer to the community regulations, section eleven, item fifty nine: lawns are to be kept neatly manicured at all times, grass may not exceed a height of five centimeters." She took a ruler out of her purse and measured the grass as she photographed it. "As you can see, you are clearly in violation of the regulations!"

Kathryn shook her head and tried not to laugh. "Yes, I can see that, but, as you can see, I started to mow and my lawn mower broke down and I was trying to fix it when you arrived. I assure you I'll cut it properly as soon as possible. Why are you taking pictures, Mrs. Wentworth?"

"Just documenting the violations, of course. Fix the mower and cut it yourself?" she giggled as she shook her head and looked down her nose. "Very well, see that you do, but perhaps you should avail yourself of a professional lawn service as most of us here do? Mowing a lawn isn't exactly something a proper lady does, my dear!" The woman pointed to and photographed the boxes and cargo containers Kathryn had put out beside the garage after she unpacked them. "Any refuse must be kept out of sight at all times. This is exceedingly unsightly and in violation of section ten, item fourteen."

"Yes, but you see, I just moved in yesterday and I've made arrangements to have them picked up, but I haven't finished unpacking yet, so I'd planned to wait until I have all the containers emptied to have them come get them."

Mrs. Wentworth made a notation on her PADD. "I'm afraid that won't do, you will have to move them into the garage until they are picked up. We had a complaint about the mess here and this is totally unacceptable!"

Kathryn put her hands on her hips. "A complaint? Who complained about me?"

"I can't give you the name, of course, but it was obviously a member of the community that takes the rules and regulations here in Primrose Acres more seriously than you do. Continue to be a problem and we will issue a citation and you will come before the committee and I assure you we take the quality of life here very very seriously and do have the power to evict you from the community. I highly suggest you read the document you signed when you bought the house, Ms… Janeway is it?"

"Yes, Janeway, Kathryn Janeway." The lady kept staring at her, so Kathryn realized what the problem was and chuckled. "Yes, I am the Kathryn Janeway, the one on the news, that's why I thought you were a reporter."

"Oh, are you one of the Penobscot Bay Janeways?"

"No, the Bloomington Janeways," Kathryn proudly replied.

"Bloomington?"

"Indiana."

"Oh, Indiana, how… quaint," she sighed as she took a step back. "I see, no wonder I've never heard of you. Very well, I shall stop by tomorrow and see that you have taken care of the problems and I should hope that I find everything in order. Good day, Ms Janeway."

Kathryn waved as the woman click clacked down the driveway in her expensive Italian leather shoes and stopped to give a disapproving look to a single weed growing in a crack. "Good day, Mrs. Wentworth, so lovely to meet you… you stuck up old Vidiian bat matron of Pissass Acres" she added once the woman was out of earshot. "Complaints about me? Well I certainly know who made them. I'll get you, Chakotay!" she shouted as she waved a single finger at his house and returned to her lawn mower. She tore the mower apart and soon realized that it needed new stabilizers. "Oh great, how am I going to pay for those?" she groused as she threw a mangled stabilizer into the pile of parts. Giving up on the mower for the time being, Kathryn moved all the empty boxes and cargo containers into the garage. As she came back out, she saw Chakotay coming out of his house neatly dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase, so she ducked behind a bush and watched him as he got in his car and drove away without seeing her, although she did notice he drove slowly and gave her house a good look.

The next day Chakotay's car was gone when Kathryn got up, so she went out to start digging a flower bed beside the house for the flower seeds her mother had given her, as the project would involve hard work only and no money. As expected, the snooty Mrs. Wentworth stopped by and begrudgingly approved of the freshly mowed lawn. She slipped her little ruler back into her purse as she said, "That's much better, I trust you will keep your lawn properly maintained from now on and we won't have any more complaints about you?"

"Complaints!" Kathryn muttered under her breath. "Hello, Mrs. Wentworth, may I borrow your ruler please?" The woman was confused, but handed Kathryn her ruler from her purse. Kathryn marched next door and plunged it into a tall clump of grass on the lawn. "Would you look at this, this grass is six centimeters tall and, oh my gods, is that a dandelion over there? Heavens, what a mess, just shocking, next thing you know the neighborhood will be overrun with weeds!" Kathryn tried to wipe the mud from her hands off the ruler on her jeans and handed it back to Mrs. Wentworth.

"Uh, you can just keep it. I wouldn't worry, your neighbor Mr. Chakotay is a wonderful addition to the community and I'm sure he'll mow it as soon as he gets home from work. Normally we frown upon renters, of course, but he keeps up Mrs. Westerman's property marvelously."

Kathryn knew he was on leave too, so her curiosity was piqued. "Work? Oh, what kind of work does he do?"

"Oh, he's a visiting professor at the university I think, teaches archeology or anthropology, some kind of ology anyhow. Delightful gentleman, so polite, articulate, cultured and refined; perhaps you should meet him?" She looked down at Kathryn, covered in dirt, "Or perhaps not, I'm sure the two of you have nothing in common."

"I'm sure we don't!" Kathryn said as she returned to her gardening, hoping the woman would go away. "I'm sorry about the problem with the lawn yesterday, but, as I said, my mower was broken. I fixed it, and the grass was only so tall because it hadn't been mowed since the Beckhams moved out, so it was hardly my fault, Mrs. Wentworth."

"If you say so. What will you be planting here, Ms Janeway?"

Kathryn looked up and smiled, "It's going to be a surprise garden!"

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, my mother gave me a packet of flower seeds she gathered from her garden on the farm to plant here at my new house. I don't know what kinds or colors the flowers will be, so that's the surprise."

"Oh, I see, you're from a… farm?"

"Yes, in Indiana."

"How… rustic! Um, what do you do for a living, Ms Janeway?"

Kathryn sat back on her heels and took a break. She couldn't stand Mrs. Wentworth, but figured at least trying to make friends with the neighborhood lawn nazi wouldn't be a bad idea. "I'm a Starfleet officer, Ma'am. I'm on extended leave now, but I'll be stationed at headquarters in San Francisco when I go back on duty in a few months. I was the captain of Voyager, the ship that got lost in the Delta Quadrant for seven years and returned a couple weeks ago. Perhaps you saw it on the news?"

"I don't think so. Lost for seven years, you say? Well, perhaps you'll remember to take a map with you next time you go somewhere? Oh, I noticed you have some sort of tacky little gewgaw under the tree on the front lawn, you'll have to get rid of it immediately."

"What?" Kathryn asked as she accompanied Mrs. Wentworth to the front yard. "Oh, that? It's a gnome, my sister gave it to me, they're supposed to bring good luck, a very old tradition. Isn't he cute?" she asked as she patted his bright red pointy hat.

"No! If you will read section seven, paragraph two, lawn ornaments other than fountains and birdbaths approved by the committee are not allowed. They look trashy and, if we let you keep that thing, next thing you know, Primrose Acres will be overrun with ghastly tacky little gnomes, lawn jockeys and pink plastic flamingoes."

Kathryn snatched up her gnome and gave him a hug. "Well fine, I'll just take him and shove him… somewhere in the back yard. Good day, Mrs. Wentworth!" Kathryn huffed to the back yard, flopped down in a lawn chair and sat her gnome on her lap. "Don't worry, my little friend, we'll find you a nice place back here. It seems you don't fit into Primrose Acres and neither do I, but we're here so we have to make the best of it!" She wrapped her arms around the gnome and hugged him as she leaned back and rested for a few minutes.

"I see you finally got a date, Janeway!" Chakotay shouted as he walked from the back door to his shed.

Kathryn gave him another colorful gesture and turned her chair to face away from him. Damn, I didn't hear him come home! I'll have to pay attention and figure out his work schedule. She found a nice spot for her gnome where he couldn't be seen from the street and returned to her gardening, with her back to the house next door.

Chakotay took out his mower, started it up and went around the yard once before it started bouncing and vibrating wildly, tearing up the lawn and tossing divots of sod in every direction. He could barely hold onto the thing and accidentally took out a beautiful azalea before he managed to shut it off.

Kathryn looked up from her flower bed and grinned wickedly. "Must be the stabilizers!" she shouted as she picked up her gardening tools and carried them to her shed which, unlike Chakotay's, had a lock on the door to prevent anyone from swapping out lawnmower parts when nobody was home. As she walked to the back door, Chakotay was out with a rake cleaning up the remains of the gorgeous azalea bush the mower had destroyed. "Azaleas look nice!" she shouted as she went in the back door.

"You bitch, I know you did this and I'll get you back and your little gnome too!" he shouted as he finished cleaning up the mess and left to go buy a new lawnmower and a lock for the shed door. He had given brief thought to simply calling the police, but he knew Kathryn was smart enough not to leave any evidence behind. No cop would believe a celebrity like her living in a prestigious community like Primrose Acres would steal parts off an old lawn mower and it would be much more rewarding if he ultimately got to decide her punishment than some judge.

Kathryn unpacked more of her things, this time being careful to put the empty boxes and containers in her garage. It was now so full the car wouldn't fit, so she left it in the driveway, but was careful to make sure the garage was locked and her car alarm was on. She arranged her books on the shelves in the den, glad to have lovely built in bookcases for her treasured collection of books. After dinner she looked through some decorating magazines her mother had given her for ideas on what to do with the den when she had the money and then settled into her spa tub for a long soak and a little self pampering.

The next morning her comm link called her before she'd even had her second cup of coffee and she didn't have to look to see who it was. "Hi, Katie, how's it going?" her sister asked.

"Hi, Phoebe, I'm fine, got most of my books put away in the den yesterday, unpacked more and started putting in a flower bed on the side of the house."

"Any more problems from next door?"

Kathryn leaned back and took a sip of coffee. "Just a couple, I found my gnome at the bottom of the pool this morning with a rock tied around his neck. Don't worry, he's on the screen porch now for safe keeping. Not ten minutes after I settled into my tub last night, the car alarm went off and I had to rush out in my robe and shut the damn thing off. I know he did it, I heard rustling in the bushes, I'm sure it was him. He probably knows which window is the bathroom and waited until I was in the tub, that ugly tattooed toad."

Phoebe adopted a serious expression. "About that Katie, were you wearing your tan robe with a phaser tucked in the belt and did you have old fashioned curlers in your hair, a mud mask on your face and the bunny slippers the kids gave you on?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Uh, I hate to tell you, Katie, but there's a picture of you on the cover of one of the morning tabloids like that. Here, hold on, I'll send it to you."

Kathryn looked at the screen and gasped. "That bastard, he must have taken it. Oh my gods, Phoebe, I look terrible! 'Captain Janeway's makeover nightmare- cosmetic surgery goes awry!' Oh, gods, what am I going to do?"

"Same thing you usually do, just ignore it and, if anyone asks, deny it was you; you're hardly recognizable anyhow with all that goop on your face. Don't worry, I read it and it doesn't say where you live or anything. I doubt he'd mess with your privacy because it would ruin his too."

"But it is me! He's had trouble with fake pictures and lies in the tabloids too, so he knows what it's like, how embarrassing it is. Oh, I'm so mad at him, that bastard! Hold on, I need more coffee, a lot more coffee."

"Take your time, Katie, and remember, getting mad won't make you feel better, but getting even will. How about I beam over after work tonight, help you out with unpacking and we can put our heads together and come up with a little redhead's revenge?"

"Bring wine and pizza?"

"You got it, and ice cream too! See you later, Katie!

After pizza and enough wine to make a bad day go away, the sisters sat beside the pool and schemed and eventually came up with a plan. "Is he home now?" Phoebe asked.

"Yes, he got home around four. He went for a run after dinner last night, so I'm hoping he goes again tonight, should be any minute now. If not, he goes to bed pretty early, so we can take care of business then. He's not as dumb as I thought, he got a lock for his shed yesterday.

"Well, a lock won't help him now, Katie!! Oh, look, here he comes in his little running shorts. Damn, Katie, he's gorgeous, maybe you should rethink this? Ohhh, what cute little buns! Are you nuts, how did you keep out of those shorts for seven years?"

"Trust me, Phoebe, it wasn't easy sometimes, but I'm glad I did as at least now I know what a good for nothing two timing louse he is. OK, you stand watch in that bush at the corner of his driveway and, if you see him coming back, give me a yell." Kathryn snuck over to Chakotay's back yard with her satchel of supplies and was back in about ten minutes. "Mission accomplished! C'mon, let's break open that second bottle of wine and I'll get out the ice cream and we can sit on the porch, engage the privacy screens so he can't see us, and enjoy the show."

By time Chakotay got back from his evening run, the Janeway sisters were most definitely a little beyond plastered and giggling like a couple of school girls as they ate ice cream out of the carton. Chakotay went in his house and came out the back door a few minutes later with a bottle of water and a towel. He took off his running shoes and his socks, neatly sat them on the deck, pulled off his T shirt, much to Phoebe's delight, activated the hot tub, climbed in and sank beneath the warm water.

"Nothing's happening!" Phoebe groused as she moved her chair for a better view. "Damn, he's fine, I wish I weren't a married woman!"

"Quiet, he'll hear us. Give it a minute, don't worry, I did it right!"

Chakotay sat back and rubbed an aching calf muscle as he enjoyed the massage of the hot tub. "What the fu…!" he shouted as the water started to foam and produce mounds of bright pink bubbles. "Janeway, you bitch!" he shouted as he climbed out of the tub to shut it off. He fiddled with the controls, but each time he did, it only made the jets more powerful, and the bubbles began increasing exponentially and flowing from the tub like bright pink strawberry scented lava. Chakotay rushed in the house, came back with some tools, took the cover off the control panel and tried to shut the hot tub off, but it only seemed to become more powerful each time he tried something. Bubbles were now spewing out of it like a volcano. They had completely covered the deck and were making their way down the side yard and driveway, towards the front yard.

Kathryn shrieked with laughter and got so carried away she fell off her chair. "Damn, this is fun! I reversed the control circuitry, overrode the shut off switch and tweaked it for about three times more power and there's no way to shut it off until the timer cycle ends… in about thirty minutes! Shit, I bet there'll be bubbles flowing under the Golden Gate Bridge by then." Kathryn high fived Phoebe as the two women giggled relentlessly. "Am I good or what?"

"Oh, Katie, you're so much better than good! That'll teach him he messed with the wrong woman! What about your pool, what if he tries to put bubble bath… or worse in it?"

"Can't, it has a safety force field over it, previous homeowners had kids. I turned it on this morning after I fished out the poor gnome."

"Gods, look at all those suds, just how much bubble bath did you put in there?"

Kathryn giggled until she snorted wine through her nose. "A whole case. Some crazed fan heard I liked bubble baths and sent it to me, but it smells like crap, so I just figured I'd use it to wash the car or something. It sure does make a lot of bubbles, doesn't it?"

Phoebe laughed and gave Kathryn a hug as they sat together on the floor and passed the wine bottle back and forth.

Chakotay had given up on trying to shut down the hot tub and switched to bubble management as the pink cascade had made it's way along the side of the house and was now filling the front yard. He grabbed the garden hose and tried to battle it, but soon discovered the hose only made matters worse. Seeing that several neighbors were standing in the street watching the spectacle, he grabbed a rake and tried to push the foam back, but it was knee deep and still coming at him like a giant pink strawberry avalanche. Chakotay had an idea and ran to the shed for the leaf blower, thinking that might be the thing to at least chase the foam back into the back yard. By time he arrived with it, the entire front lawn was covered with pink foam and it was starting to parade down the street, where more than a half dozen people were now gathered. When he activated the leaf blower, a huge pink cloud rose from the lawn, coated his house and trees and started gently floating on the breeze. He turned off the leaf blower, sank to his knees amidst the sea of pink bubbles, put his face in his hands and sobbed.

A tap on the shoulder brought him back to reality. "Sir, would you care to explain what's going on here?"

"Not really, Officer," he replied as he rose, turned and saw a large crowd of giggling people, two police cars, several more officers and Mrs. Wentworth with her ridiculously pouffy Poodle on a leash and her camera. "I'm sorry, Officer, I think someone put bubble bath in my hot tub and I tried, but it won't shut off. I did everything I could to stop it, but I can't."

The officer tried not to laugh. "I see, and do you have any idea who might have done it?"

"Her!" he shouted as he pointed to Kathryn's house. "That Janeway woman there is incorrigible, I'm sure she did it!" The officer nodded to another, who immediately went to Kathryn's door while the first officer took Chakotay aside and got some information from him for his report. When the second officer returned from Kathryn's house, he looked at her and asked, "Well?"

"I spoke with Ms Janeway and she said she didn't do it. I used the verifier on her, Sir, she volunteered, insisted in fact, and she is telling the truth. Perhaps one of the neighborhood children did it as a prank? It is the sort of thing kids do. Are you certain you didn't put bubble bath in your hot tub, Mr. Chakotay?"

"Of course not!" he shouted as he scraped a glop of pink suds off his head. "I don't even have any bubble bath, much less this pink fruity stuff. I went for a run, came home, turned on my hot tub, got in it and, next thing I knew, I had a pink strawberry ocean of bubbles that I couldn't stop!"

The officer shook his head and laughed. "Well, no harm done I suppose, but I do have to give you a citation for disturbing the peace. Sign here, please and I certainly hope we won't have any more problems with you."

By time the officers left it was almost dark and the crowd had broken up and gone home. The bubbles had started to go away as well and Chakotay figured, by morning, all traces of the fiasco would be gone. He went in and showered, however no amount of scrubbing would wash away the fruity strawberry scent and he could swear his skin was now slightly pink. He settled into the den with a book as he tried to figure out who had done it. It had to be Kathryn, but the police officer said she passed a verifier test, so it just didn't make sense. "Damn she's good!" he swore as he returned to his book.

Kathryn and Phoebe cleaned up the mess they had made on the porch and went into the house to make coffee as they both needed to sober up a bit. "Oh Phoebe, that was so funny, but I had no idea someone would call the cops!"

"Oh Katie, it was priceless, did you see the expression on his face?" She wiped her tears on her sleeve and took a sip of coffee. "Good thing we had someone here who could answer the door, swear to a cop with one of those lie detector gizmos that her name was Ms Janeway and that she didn't put anything in his hot tub!"

Kathryn gave Phoebe a hug. "I'm so glad you're my sister! After all that, I bet he'll be so embarrassed he moves out, or maybe the civic association will throw him out or, at the very least, he'll stop hassling me? Did you see the way some of the women were looking at him in nothing more than those little shorts? I bet they'll beat a path to his door every day."

Phoebe laughed as she tucked her camera in her purse. "Yeah, and when I upload these, a lot more people are going to be laughing at him! What do you think the headline should read: 'bubble bath blunder', 'first officer's foam fetish' or 'Chakotay comes clean'?"

"Pretty in pink!" Kathryn giggled as they hugged again.

"Stop laughing, Sis!" Chakotay shouted at the comm link screen, "It wasn't funny! That damn snooty busy body Mrs. Hoity Toity Wentworth called the police and I got a citation for disturbing the peace! Worse yet, it's all over the tabloids, I'm front page news… and I still smell fruity."

She wiped her tears and tried to put on a serious face for her brother's sake. "I'm sorry, but I do wish I'd been there. You said she's smart, but how could she manage to outwit a police verifier? Maybe she didn't do it?"

"I don't know how, I thought it was impossible, but I know she did it! Did you get the information I sent? I need to get back at her, you'll do it right?" Suli nodded, so he went on. "OK, you'll have to sound just like her when you make the calls. You're good at impressions and you've heard her on the news enough times, so I know you can do it, give it a try."

"Hello, this is Kathryn Janeway."

"No, your voice needs to be deeper, more gravelly."

She tried again, "Hello, this is Kathryn Janeway."

"No, that's not right either. Do it like you're trying to do a bad Katharine Hepburn imitation."

"Hello, this is Kathryn Janeway."

He clapped wildly, "Standing ovation, that's perfect, Sis! OK, you make the calls and thanks again!"

That afternoon Kathryn opened her door to two clean cut young men in black pants, white shirts and skinny black ties carrying armloads of PADDs and brochures. "Hello, gentlemen. Wow, I just called a few minutes ago and I thought you couldn't come until next week? I'm impressed, you certainly got here fast! Please come in, take a look around the house and let me know what you think."

They rushed in and sat on the sofa. "Of course we rushed right over, we're always standing by to help those in need of salvation."

"Salvation?" she laughed, "Well, I don't think the house is quite that bad, is it?"

"It's never hopeless," one of them said as he started sorting through a stack of brochures. "Don't worry, Sister Kathryn, we'll redeem your soul and help you shed your sinful wicked wanton ways and get on the path to cosmic glory!"

"Uh, cosmic glory? I just wanted to get an estimate for new drapes in the den. You gentleman are from Innovative Interiors, aren't you?"

One of them stood and handed her a stack of brochures. "No, I'm Brother Solstice and this is Brother Nebulon; we're from the Church of Celestial Salvation of the Divine Cosmic Prophets. We came as soon as you called."

"Called?" Kathryn asked, now totally confused.

"Yes, I spoke to you myself, not more than a half hour ago. You have a very distinctive voice, Sister Kathryn, I remember it, and you sounded so desperately in need of our help." He raised his hands and wiggled his fingers at the heavens. "Desperation, depravity, debauchery, sexual deviation, avarice, and greed, for a generous donation Brother Solstice will be here for you in your time of need! Don't worry, we'll help you to cast away your demons, purify your soul, rid yourself of your dreadful caffeine and alcohol addictions and find the path to true happiness that only the Divine Celestial Cosmic Prophets can bring you! Here look at these brochures and, don't worry, we will save you, Sister!"

"Uh, gentleman, there seems to be some mistake here. I didn't call you and I don't need to be saved, I just need new drapes."

Brother Solstice looked at Brother Nebulon and shook his head. "It's worse than we thought, the drugs and alcohol have affected her memory." He stood in the middle of the room, waved his fingers to the heavens and launched into his sermon as Brother Nebulon lit incense, waved it over Kathryn's head and chanted. Kathryn tried to stop the men repeatedly, but they went on for over an hour, steadfast in their determination to save her and convert her into a loyal member of the Church of Celestial Salvation of the Divine Cosmic Prophets, Incorporated. She finally gave up and sat back, as she realized nothing in the galaxy could stop them and her day was probably ruined.

When Kathryn was finally able to herd the men to the door, she had to physically push them out as they were still chanting and shoving pamphlets at her. "Thanks so much, gentleman, I feel so much better now, I'm going to go read all those lovely pamphlets you left me. Have a divine day and I'm sure I'll see you at the temple real soon!" she said as she wiggled her fingers at the sky, mimicking their devotional gesture. As she turned to go back in, she spied Chakotay planting a new azalea and laughing so hard tears were streaming down his face, so Kathryn flashed him a "divine" gesture of her own.

As Kathryn turned to go back in, an idea struck her and she called out, "Oh, Brother Solstice, Brother Nebulon, please come back, your work here isn't done!" She pointed to Chakotay, "See that man over there? He needs saving even more than I do, why the police were over there after him just last night! The poor man was running around naked with a leaf blower and spraying pink strawberry foam all over the neighborhood. Oh, I'm sure the wicked evil demons of cosmic impurity, immorality and lust for farm animals dwell in his soul! Please, hurry right over there and save him! Thanks to you two wonderful gentleman, I now know that only the Divine Cosmic Profits could help a wretch like him! Hurry, hurry!"

They immediately dashed across her lawn towards Chakotay. When he saw the men coming, he tried to get away, but they already had him roped and were shoving pamphlets at him, lighting incense and chanting as Kathryn again shared her own cosmically divine gesture with him before she slammed her door.

Kathryn gathered all the materials the cultists had left and shoved them in the recycler as she got herself a cup of coffee and patted herself on the back for making his little scheme backfire on him. She started up the stairs to change into some old clothes to go out and work on her new garden, but wasn't half way up when the door chime sounded again and she opened her door to three smiling monks with shaved heads in bright green robes.

The oldest of them bowed politely and spoke, "Hello, many holy fragrant blessings upon you, we came as soon as you called, Miss Janeway. We're from the Temple of Charismatic Karma and we're very glad you're interested in renouncing all your worldly possessions and joining us. Here, I have a flower and beads for you and……"

Kathryn smiled warmly. "Oh? I bet you're looking for Kathryn Janeway, aren't you?"

"Yes, is that not you?"

She stifled a laugh and composed herself. "No, I'm sorry, you have the wrong house, Kathryn Janeway lives next door. Oh, by the way, she's a transvestite, I mean, she's a he that dresses up like a she sometimes… or something like that. It's totally confusing, last night he was running around naked with a leaf blower, this morning he was parading around in a dress, high heels and a blonde wig and, last time I saw him, he was wearing jeans and had some crazy spider web drawings on his face, claiming he was Arachnia, Queen of the Spider People! Maybe he uses drugs or is possessed or something? Gosh, I sure hope you can help him!" Kathryn rubbed her forehead. "Anyway, it's very confusing and gives me a headache! You'd better hurry, some men from the Church of Celestial Salvation of the Divine Cosmic Prophets are over there and, you know as well as I do, only Charismatic Karma can help someone like that! Oh, when he's dressed up like a man, he uses the name Chakotay, so call him that. He has a lot of names, I think he's possessed by evil spirits!"

"Oh, yes yes yes, dear lady! Thank you so much!" he replied as the three men ran across the front yard towards Chakotay's house, their beads jangling and bright green robes flying in the breeze. When they were safely inside Chakotay's house, Kathryn grabbed her tool kit, went on a little "mission" of her own and stretched out on a chaise by the pool to enjoy the afternoon's entertainment.

Chakotay slammed his fist down on the desk. "I just don't understand it, Sis, the whole thing backfired! The first bunch of them went to her house, but she sent them over here and gods but the lies she told them about me! I couldn't get rid of them and then a bunch of those little green monks with beads showed up and then some ladies in funny hats and some Bolian priests and, spirits, they all showed up at my house, every cult, temple and tabernacle in California! I stopped answering the door, but every time the chime sounded, one of the Bolian guys answered it and let more and more people in here and they were all arguing about which religion was best, passing out pamphlets, chanting, exorcising, putting up posters and icons, trying to rearrange the furniture for better feng shui, burning incense that smelled like cow dung, screaming and throwing beads!"

"Oh, Chakotay, I'm so sorry, but you did tell me to call every place I could find that will send people right out to sign you up for their cosmic rhetoric! You always said it's good to be thorough," she snickered.

"Quit laughing, Suli, it gets worse! Then the guy from Ferengi Delights showed up with the ten kilos of tube grubs you ordered and he and wouldn't leave and threatened to call the police unless I paid for it. I had enough trouble with the cops last night, so I paid him. The delivery guy from Klingon Critters A La Carte came before the Ferengi left and he made me pay him too and he and the Ferengi guy got in a fight and spilled food all over the rug. Tube grubs and gagh were crawling everywhere, some of the monks were blessing them and yelling about the evils of eating meat and I tried to tell them I'm a vegetarian and… argh! Apparently Kathryn told them I'm gay or a transvestite or something, so when the male stripper showed up and started singing and gyrating and tried to give me a lap dance, well that didn't help matters. Oh, Sis, the house is a mess, I can't get the stains out of the rug, it smells like cow shit and strawberries in here and I'll be finding prayer beads and tube grubs all over the house until hell freezes over. I don't know how Janeway did it, but she was sitting by her pool laughing the whole time; I'm going to kill her!"

"I'm sorry, that does sound disgusting. Oh, I didn't send the male stripper, so she must have."

"Great, I paid him too! Hold on, I think I just heard a noise out front, heaven knows what she's up to now, but maybe I can catch her in the act!"

Chakotay was gone so long his sister started yelling over the com link for him. He ran in and threw himself back in his chair. "You're not going to believe this, I just fell for the oldest trick in the book and ruined my new shoes."

"Let me guess, burning paper bag full of dog shit on the sidewalk?"

"She doesn't have a dog, I think it was cow shit! There's a pasture full of cows on the other side of the community park, so it was easy enough to get. How stupid could I be, but when there's a fire in your front yard, it's just instinct to stomp it out. Damn that rabid redhead woman! I'm going to go have a beer, or maybe two or three or six, and figure out how to get back at her. I'll talk to you tomorrow!" He cut the link and took his shoes to the utility room to see if he could scrape off the mess.

The next day Kathryn settled down with her coffee for her morning chat with her sister as they had a good laugh about the previous day's events. Kathryn went on, "So, after the monks came, I got smart and snuck over there and switched his house number sign with mine, so, after that, they all just went there automatically and didn't bother me a bit. After it got dark I snuck over and switched the house numbers back and left him a little surprise on his sidewalk."

"Flaming poop bag?"

"Of course!" Kathryn grinned. "Heaven knows, with that snooty lawn nazi I couldn't find any dog poop anywhere in the park, so I went to the cow pasture behind it and got my ammo."

Phoebe giggled wildly. "Pure genius, Sis! What fond memories, I don't think I've done that since junior high. Did he retaliate?"

"Oh yes, when I got up this morning the entire back yard was mined with cow pies, must have been a hundred of them! I found a couple on top of the force field over the pool, so I think he tried to dump them in there first. It wasn't that bad, I don't think it took me more than thirty minutes to clean them up."

"Well that's good, and at least he didn't mess up your pool. Katie, what are you going to do with all that cow crap? You're not going to haul it off in your new car, are you?"

"Nope, don't have to, I found a really good place to dump it. I put it in the crawl space under the house."

"Katie, that was dumb, it'll start to smell as soon as it gets damp!"

She giggled and took a bite of her Pop-Tart. "I didn't say under **MY** house! I bet the smell will chase him out in a few days. I gotta go, Phoebe, I've got stuff to do and I want to get in some pool time before he gets home from work so I don't have to listen to his taunts about the effects of gravity. I'll talk to you later, Captain Cowpie out!"

After she'd put in a good day's work unpacking and finished up the new garden, Kathryn put her swimsuit on and stretched out a chaise by the pool to look over her decorating magazines for more ideas. After she finished with them, she sat the chaise out flat, rolled over to tan her back and nodded off to sleep in the warm afternoon sun.

"Hey, Janeway, is that your ass or did someone dump a load of cottage cheese on your chaise?"

"Oh great, he's home" Kathryn mumbled to herself as she shot him the customary gesture. She sat up, smiled and sniffed the air. "Do you smell something burning? No, actually it smells more like tutti frutti, don't you think?" He just ignored her and got a bucket, scrub brush and the hose and started cleaning out the hot tub.

With Chakotay down inside the hot tub, he couldn't see Kathryn's pool, so she decided to swim a few laps before she went in to start dinner.

He scrubbed at the sticky mess the bubble bath had left in the hot tub and got it cleaned off the bottom and sides, however he would need a bucket and a scoop to bail it out, so he climbed out and went into the house for them. When he came out he took a look next door at Kathryn in her pool and shouted, "Oh jeez, there's another ugly little gnome in the pool!" Kathryn didn't react, so he thought she didn't hear him and yelled again, more loudly this time, "Hey, Janeway, you got another ugly little gnome in your pool!" He figured she was just ignoring him, so he turned to go back to his work, but suddenly realized she had been face down in the water for a long time, so he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "Kathryn, are you OK? Kathryn? Kathryn!"

"Nobody can hold their breath that long!" he said to himself as he ran over to her back yard. When he got to the edge of the pool he could see the diving board was broken and a red trail was drifting away from Kathryn's head, so he dove in the pool, grabbed her and hauled her up onto the deck. The broken end of the diving board was under her chest and it was enough to keep her floating, but not with her head out of the water. She was pale and lifeless and had a huge gash on her head that was bleeding, so he immediately performed the Heimlich Maneuver to clear her airway and started CPR. He pounded and pounded on her chest, but nothing happened. "Come on, Kathryn, breath, dammit, breathe!" After he gave her two more breaths she finally started coughing and choking as water came up from her lungs, so Chakotay turned her to the side to help her to clear it. She gasped and struggled as she coughed up more water. Her movements made her head start to bleed more profusely, so he took off his shirt and pressed it against the cut to control the bleeding. Kathryn moaned and thrashed as she tried to sit up. "No, no, lie still, stay on your side. Go ahead, cough up all the water."

When it appeared she was done coughing, he carried her in the house, put her on the floor, grabbed an afghan off the back of the sofa and threw it over her. "Kathryn, where's you comm badge or comm link? I need to call for help. Her eyes opened and fluttered before they rolled back in her head and she lost consciousness. Chakotay left her and wildly ran through the house, searching for a way to call for help. He found her comm badge first, lying on the kitchen table, so he grabbed it and a towel for her head, ran to her and called for an emergency medical beam out.

They immediately took Kathryn into the triage area as he followed them and a doctor asked, "What happened?"

He rubbed his face and tried to gather his wits. "I don't know for sure, I live next door and saw her floating face down in the pool. The diving board was broken, so it must have hit her on the head or she hit her head on the pool, I don't know. There was a piece of it under her that kept her floating, but her face was in the water. I pulled her out and she wasn't breathing and had no pulse, so I did the Heimlich and CPR and put my shirt against the cut to stop the bleeding."

"Did she regain consciousness or cough up any water?"

"She coughed up a lot of water then started to thrash around, like maybe she was having a seizure or something, but I wouldn't say she was really conscious. She didn't speak or anything and her eyes rolled back in her head."

"How long was she in the water?"

"I don't know. Oh, Doctor, is she going to be all right?"

"Well, you did all the right things, but you're going to have to wait in the lounge, please. We'll let you know as soon as we have some news." Chakotay took a seat in the waiting room and a corpsman noticed that he was wet and only wearing a pair of shorts, so he brought him a blanket and some coffee. The wait seemed endless, but the doctor finally came back out. "Commander, I've sent Captain Janeway up to neurosurgery, she has a fractured skull and a very significant brain injury."

"Is she going to be all right?"

"It's too soon to tell. As I said, it's a significant brain injury and she was deprived of oxygen for a long time, so it's possible there may be brain damage. I'm going to keep her sedated at least until tomorrow morning and not allow any visitors, so why don't you go home and get some rest? Please don't worry, we'll take good care of her, call you if we have any news and you can come see her after ten tomorrow morning."

"All right, Doctor, thank you."

The next morning Chakotay arrived early, but they made him wait until ten before he could go into Kathryn's room. She lay motionless in the bed as the doctor scanned her with a tricorder. He adjusted a piece of equipment hooked up to her before he spoke. "We reversed the sedation three hours ago, but she hasn't regained consciousness. Her scans look good, but we won't know for sure until she wakes up and, quite frankly, I don't know why she hasn't. She's in a light coma and may be able to hear you, so I suggest you hold her hand and talk to her, that may help. I'll leave you alone, please call if you get any response from her, even a slight movement would be significant."

"Yes, Doctor, thank you." Chakotay moved a chair beside the bed, sat down and touched Kathryn's hand. It was cold and pale and sent a shiver up his spine, reminding him of when he touched his grandmother's hand at her funeral. He picked it up and gave it a gentle squeeze, but she didn't react to it, so he held it in his hands as he gently massaged her fingers. "Hello, Kathryn, it's Chakotay, can you hear me? Wake up, Kathryn, it's time to wake up. Can you squeeze my hand so I know you can hear me?" He waited, but got no response from her.

"Well, the doctor said to hold your hand, so I'm going to do it." He looked down and chuckled. "As much as you hate me, maybe you'll wake up so you can cuss me out? Believe it or not, Kathryn, I don't really hate you, I could never hate you. I understand why you hate me, you have every reason to, but I am sorry you would never hear me out and let me apologize to you. What I did was stupid, I know it hurt you and I really truly am very very sorry. It cost me my best friend and the only woman I ever truly loved, respected and adored and I'll be paying the price for my stupidity for the rest of my life. I'm sorry about all the pranks and name calling too and I really didn't know you'd bought the house next door when I moved in. Come on, Kathryn, wake up and yell at me!"

A nurse came in to check on Kathryn and interrupted him. She checked the monitoring equipment and asked, "Any response from her?"

"No," he shook his head, "Nothing. Nurse, could you bring me a cup of coffee, please?"

She nodded and returned with it shortly, handed it him and said, "Not too much longer, Sir, she needs her rest, but please continue to talk to her."

"Yes, Ma'am, thank you," he said as he let go of Kathryn's hand and rose. He held the cup of coffee near her head and fanned the aroma to her nose. "Coffee, Kathryn, can you smell it? Come on, wake up and have some coffee. Wake up and throw it at me if you want, just wake up!" She didn't respond, so he dipped his fingers in the coffee and gently placed a few drops in her mouth. "Come on, you always said this stuff was magic, so wake up and drink some!"

She didn't respond to the coffee either, so he placed it on the table, sat back down, took her hand and began to massage it again. "You have such small hands, Kathryn, so tiny and delicate. Remember that night when we held hands on New Earth? I wish it could be like that again, you and I best friends. Oh, Kathryn, I'm so sorry I screwed that up!" Chakotay lamented as he laid his face on her hand and starting sobbing quietly. "Kathryn, just so you know, nothing happened with Seven and I didn't start seeing her to spite you, it just kind of happened, and I'm so very sorry it did. I'm sorry I hurt you, but I really thought you didn't have any feelings for me anymore and I know I should have talked to you." He sat up and laughed a little as he used the sheet to dry Kathryn's hand. "Well, you have to admit, sometimes you're not the easiest person in the world to talk to! OK, they told me not to stay too long, so I'm going to leave now and let you rest, but I'll be back to see you tomorrow."

Chakotay stood, pulled up the blanket a little higher, brushed a wisp Kathryn's hair back from her forehead and smiled at her. "You look so pretty. I've always thought you were beautiful, Kathryn, you look just like Sleeping Beauty lying there." He stared at her for a few more moments, then bent down and kissed her softly on the lips. "I know I'm not a handsome prince, but I thought that might work to wake you up? I guess that only happens in fairy tales, but I do hope you wake up and live happily ever after, Kathryn. I do love you and I always will."

When Chakotay returned home he made himself some lunch and sat out on the back deck to eat it. As he looked over at Kathryn's pool, he noticed her patio door was open, so he went to investigate. He could see her vid link and computer were there in the living room, so he realized she probably hadn't been robbed and he must have left the door open when he carried her in the house the day before. He picked up his bloody shirt from the floor and noticed a blood stain on the carpet, so he put it down and went to the utility room and rummaged through the cabinets to find something to clean it up with.

"Don't move!"

Chakotay froze, cautiously looked over his shoulder and saw a Starfleet phaser pointed at him, but recognized the person wielding it.

"Phoebe, it's OK, I'm not a burglar, it's Chakotay from next door. Admiral Paris introduced us at one of those receptions, remember?" He turned to face her and started to lower his hands.

"I said don't move! I know who you are, you're the bastard that put my sister in a coma in the hospital," Phoebe replied as she kept the phaser aimed at him, as he wondered if she would actually use it.

"What? No! Oh, gods, no, I had nothing to do with it, I swear! Look, Phoebe, I'll admit to all the pranks and practical jokes, but I would never do anything that would hurt anybody, especially Kathryn of all people. I saw the diving board when I pulled her out of the pool, it was old and it probably broke, I didn't do anything to it, I swear. Go look at it yourself."

"Don't worry, I will. What are you doing breaking into her house?"

"Phoebe, couldn't you put away the phaser?" She didn't show any signs of doing so, so he remained motionless. "I didn't break in, the back door was open from when I carried Kathryn into the house yesterday and called for help. I noticed it sitting open when I got home a while ago, so I came over, looked around to make sure the house hadn't been robbed and then I came in here to try to find something to clean up the blood on the rug, that's all I was doing." He lowered his hands slightly. "See, I have a rag and some cleaner, that's all. Look, Phoebe, I'm sure your sister has told you what a bastard I was and I'm ashamed to admit that's true, but I'm pretty sure she never told you I was a thief, did she?"

"Well, no," Phoebe conceded as she lowered the phaser a bit, obviously giving some thought to what he had said.

"I was going to clean up the carpet, make sure the house was secure and then leave, that's all. What happened to Kathryn was a horrible accident, I had nothing to do with it, you have to believe me. I really am sorry about all the pranks, I stopped on my way back from visiting her and bought her a new lawn mower and I'll gladly pay for any other damage I did."

Phoebe finally lowered her phaser, went to the kitchen and replaced it in the drawer. "You went to see her?"

"Yes, this morning. Phoebe, I care about your sister, I really do, and I would never want anything to happen to her. I just want her to wake up and get better and, if she still hates me, so be it, I deserve it. Come on, let me go clean the carpet and I'll get out of here and I'm sorry if I scared you and for all the trouble I caused."

"OK, sorry I pointed a phaser at you, but I really did think you were a burglar. That stuff won't do any good to get blood up, so never mind. With three kids, I have a good carpet cleaner at home, I'll bring it tomorrow."

Chakotay slapped himself on the forehead. "Oh, wait, carpet cleaner! I just rented one to clean my carpet. I'll bring it right over."

"No, never mind, I'll take care of it. I just stopped by to check on the house and get a few things for Katie. I have to get home, I'm all ready late." She picked up the bloody shirt from the floor and looked at it. "This isn't Katie's, is it yours?"

He took it from her. "Yes, thanks, I used it to try to stop the bleeding. Please, let me take care of the carpets, I'll lock up and leave when I'm done."

Phoebe shook her head and started herding him towards the back door. "I don't think so, goodbye."

Chakotay turned to try to persuade her, but realized Phoebe was just like her sister, so it would be pointless. "OK, sorry again I scared you, and I really hope Kathryn is better soon. I'll keep an eye on her house and…" Phoebe shut the door and ended the conversation.

The following day Chakotay stopped after work, got a bouquet of flowers for Kathryn and went to the hospital to see her, however her room was empty. As he was heading to the desk to ask about her, he ran into the same nurse he had spoken with the day before.

"Captain Janeway went home about twenty minutes ago, a woman picked her up, her sister I believe, Sir."

Chakotay's face brightened. "Wow, that's wonderful! When did she wake up, how is she?"

"She woke up early this morning, I believe. I just came on duty, so I don't really know any more than that, but she must have been doing well if they let her go home. If you'll excuse me, Sir?"

"Of course, thank you." Chakotay rushed home and went to Kathryn's door with the flowers. Her sister answered, took the flowers and thanked him. She told him Kathryn was upstairs resting, but shut the door before he could ask any more questions. He kept an eye on the house throughout the evening and saw Phoebe in a robe through the window, so he surmised she was obviously spending the night, however he never saw Kathryn. The light in what he was sure was her bedroom went out quite early, so he went to bed early as well. By watching lights go on and off at her house since she moved in, he was pretty sure he knew the layout.

The next morning he did his best to clandestinely look through Kathryn's windows from his house, however he didn't see anyone nor any signs of activity. After breakfast Chakotay cleaned his carpet from where the fighting Ferengi and Klingon caterers had spilled food, and went to Kathryn's back door to see if Phoebe had brought her machine to clean the blood stain off the rug. The room was empty, but he could see that the stain was still there, so he knocked, but got no reply. It was still early, so he thought, perhaps, they had slept in.

On his way home he noticed Kathryn's lawn was getting precariously close to Primrose Acre's five centimeter limit as her mower hadn't done a very good job, so he assembled the mower he'd bought for her and cut it. Since her shed was locked, he put it in his own for the time being and went in to have lunch. After lunch he still saw no life signs from next door, so he went to water his newly planted azalea and noticed the driveway still had a pinkish tint to it from the foam fiasco, so he used the hose to wash it down. When he turned to take the hose back, he heard an odd sound and looked up. "Kathryn!" She was standing just outside her back door, leaning on a lawn chair. "Kathryn, how are you?" he asked as he walked to her.

She coughed and cleared her throat. "Sorry, I can't talk too loud, my throat is sore, I think they had to put a tube down it or something. I was trying to say thank you for mowing the grass, but you couldn't hear me with the hose going."

"You're welcome." He pointed to the seat of the chair. "Why don't you sit down?"

"No, I'm not dressed, I'm going back inside, I just wanted to say thank you."

"Of course, Kathryn, I was glad to do it." He gave her a boyish little grin. "Uh, I'm kind of the guy who ruined your mower, so I bought you a new one, it's in my shed." He could see Kathryn was very weak and unsteady on her feet and having trouble managing the step up into the house, so held her arm and helped her inside. "Kathryn, may I come in?" She stared at him blankly as his heart sank, for he was sure this was where she would tell him to leave her alone. "Kathryn? Kathryn, are you OK? You do know who I am, don't you?"

She jumped slightly as she came back to reality. "Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a little light headed, I phase out for a few seconds every now and then. You can come in for a minute if you want to."

He offered her his arm to help her to the sofa. "Here, maybe you should sit down and rest for a few minutes? Isn't your sister here?"

"No, she was so sick when she woke up this morning I made her go home. I'm not supposed to be around anyone who's sick until I get stronger and she was worse off than I am. What time is it?"

The question struck him as odd since there was a clock on the wall right across from her. "It's almost one. Have you had lunch yet?"

Kathryn rubbed her head and thought for a moment. "Yes. No. I'm not sure."

"Well, OK, how about I fix you something, what would you like?"

"A ham and cheese sandwich and some orange juice."

"OK, coming right up, you wait here and rest." Chakotay went to the kitchen and returned shortly. "Kathryn, I couldn't find any ham or cheese or orange juice, you hardly have any food in the kitchen at all, and I couldn't find your replicator, where is it?"

"I don't think I have one, do I? Yes, I remember now, it was broken and I put it in the garage. I have trouble remembering things, Phoebe told me I hit my head."

"Yes, you did, but don't worry about it, I'm sure your memory will clear up. I've got a replicator, so I'll go home and get you something to eat and I'll be right back, OK?" Kathryn smiled slightly and nodded, so Chakotay went home, fixed her lunch and brought it and the carpet cleaner back. "Here, you eat this and I'll clean up the stain on the carpet, OK?"

"OK." She looked down. "How did that get there, did I spill something?"

"Yes, but don't worry, I'll clean it up. Go ahead and eat your sandwich and then maybe you can take a nap? Kathryn, do you have any medication you're supposed to take?" She nodded yes as she idly ate her sandwich. "Where is it?"

"I don't know."

"All right, you keep eating and I'll look around the house for it." He searched through the kitchen again, but didn't find anything there or in the bathroom, dining room or the den and the other rooms were empty, so he went upstairs to Kathryn's bedroom. Much to his surprise, he saw the flowers he had taken her the day before in a vase on her dresser along with several get well cards. He looked on the nightstand and found her medication and a PADD with instructions, which he sat on the bed and quickly read through. Kathryn had a serious head injury… was supposed to rest… more likely to recover and be comfortable in a familiar environment… was experiencing some memory loss and confusion… no driving or operating machinery… come back for a recheck in three days… call immediately if any fever, nausea or blurry vision… etc.. She had two different medications she was supposed to take, one for pain and an antibiotic to prevent a lung infection. Counting the tablets, she had obviously all ready taken her medication that day. He took the opportunity to snoop a bit and check out the upstairs before he went back down and found it to be sparsely furnished like the rest of the house and two of the bedrooms were empty. When he returned to the living room Kathryn had eaten most of her lunch. "I found your medication, you all ready took it today. Would you like something else to eat?"

"No thanks, I'm tired, I think I need to rest."

He helped Kathryn to lay down on the sofa and threw a blanket over her. "Will you be OK by yourself?" She nodded yes. "OK, I'm going to take the carpet machine back and I'll get you some groceries, is there anything else you need or anything in particular you'd like from the grocery store?"

"Coffee ice cream? My throat is sore."

"Sure, no problem! You stay here and don't leave the house, OK? Here's your comm badge and I have mine, so just call if you need me or think of anything you need. I'll check all the doors and make sure they're locked before I go. Kathryn, what's the code to your door so I don't have to wake you if you're still asleep when I get back?"

She looked at him and stared blankly as a tear slid down her cheek. "I… I can't remember."

He brushed it off and ran his index finger along her cheek. "It's OK, don't worry about it, your memory will get better. Here, I have an idea." He went to the back door and tried it. "No problem, it's the same code as your quarters on the ship were. OK, close your eyes and go to sleep and I bet you'll feel much better when you wake up." He watched her for a few minutes and she fell asleep, so he went to the kitchen to make a shopping list, checked all the doors and left.

Kathryn was still asleep when he returned, so he put away her groceries and started dinner. She didn't have any spices, so Chakotay ran home quickly for what he needed and opened his windows before he left, as the house seemed to have an unpleasant odor, from cleaning the carpet most likely. When he returned Kathryn was no longer on the sofa, but he noticed the bathroom door was shut, so he assumed that's where she was. She came out shortly and smiled, "Hi, you're back."

"Yes, I've been back a while, but you were asleep, so I didn't wake you. I had to run home for some oregano and garlic. Dinner will be ready soon, do you want to eat in the kitchen or the dining room?"

She looked down at her bathrobe. "I don't quite think I'm properly dressed for the dining room, so the kitchen will be fine. It smells good, let me guess, you made me veal piccata didn't you? You make the best veal piccata this side of Italy!"

"Uh, no, but you're close, it's eggplant parmesan. Why don't you go ahead and sit down? It'll be ready in a few minutes." Chakotay returned to preparing the salad as his concern grew. He had never made veal piccata for Kathryn, he didn't even know how. He ultimately decided to ignore it, the information he had read on the medical PADD seemed to imply her confusion was temporary and should only be of concern if it worsened. If nothing else, he was glad she was recovering and had allowed him back into her life and was apparently comfortable with him again.

After dinner Kathryn called her mother and sister while Chakotay cleaned up from dinner and then she showed him all her decorating magazines and they discussed her plans for the house and yard. At one point he tried to touch upon her accident, but she said she didn't remember it and immediately changed the subject, so he moved on to another topic of conversation as well. Kathryn never mentioned anything about Voyager or what had happened with their relationship. He desperately wanted to talk to her about it, to apologize and explain, but knew this was not the time. It was so incredibly wonderful to be sitting beside Kathryn and watch her talk and laugh and, in that moment, it was the most important thing in the world to him.

A little after 9:00 she began to yawn and, by 9:30, was heading up to bed. Chakotay really had his doubts about leaving her alone, but he read through the instructions the doctor had sent home with her more thoroughly while she was in her bathroom and they didn't specifically say that she needed someone to stay with her. He was also worried she might not want to be alone but was afraid to say so, so he offered to stay in the guestroom or on the sofa bed downstairs in the den, but she swore she would be fine by herself. Considering they had just renewed their relationship, it was certainly possible she wouldn't be comfortable having him in the house overnight.

Chakotay got Kathryn safely tucked into bed and put her comm badge on the nightstand. "OK, Kathryn, I'll make sure the house is locked before I go. Your comm badge is right here, you call me if you need anything, anything at all, even if you just need help getting to the bathroom, and I'll be right over, OK? Is there anything else you need before I go?"

"No, thank you, I'm fine. I'm really tired and I'm sure I'll sleep straight through until morning."

"OK, I know how stubborn you are, but just call if you need me, promise?"

"I promise," she said as Chakotay turned off the light and stepped to the bedroom door."

"Goodnight, Kathryn, I'm glad you're feeling better. I really like your new house and I had a nice time this evening. Sleep well."

"You too. Thank you for taking care of me. Goodnight, Mark."

Chakotay reached the bottom of the stairs before his legs gave out and he crumpled down on the bottom step as he said to himself, "Mark, she called me Mark!" He replayed the afternoon and evening in his head and couldn't recall that Kathryn had ever addressed him by name and began to wonder if, because of her head injury, maybe she really thought he was Mark and that was the only reason why she let him in or had it just been a simple slip of the tongue? He was overjoyed that they were getting along again and there was hope that maybe they could put things back together and resume their relationship, but was it all an illusion and only happening because she thought he was someone else? He knew Kathryn's fiancé Mark had married and moved on, but wondered if it could be that it didn't last or Kathryn's sudden returned changed everything and he was now back in her heart or part of her life?

As Chakotay lay in his bed that night he tossed and turned as he tried to sort out the day. He had been around people with head injuries before and knew that sometimes they imagined all sorts of things. Kathryn was on a strong pain killer, so that could be influencing her perception of reality as well, and she could also most certainly be suffering from the effects of a near death experience. She had experienced them before, but he knew even the mighty Kathryn Janeway was not invincible… even if she thought she were.

He was now certain she had never called him by name all day nor had she mentioned anything about Voyager or even Starfleet and he couldn't recall any mention of anything from their past together either. Was she just mistaken about the veal or was that something Mark used to fix for her? Not remembering the accident was certainly not odd, but he now wondered if she remembered anything at all of their seven years together? He wasn't sure what to do about it the next day, to confront her and ask her point blank who she thought he was or just ignore it all as a symptom of her injury. It had been so wonderful to talk with Kathryn again, to see her smile and hear her laugh and know that she needed him and appreciated his company… or was it Mark's?

The next morning Chakotay awoke early and arranged for someone to teach his classes, for even if Kathryn didn't need him, he knew he couldn't keep his mind focused on work. He made a pan of homemade caramel sweet rolls as sugar ran a close second to coffee where Kathryn was concerned. He took them next door and rapped gently on the back door, as he'd decided he would let himself in quietly and wait for her if she were still asleep. He was certain he could smell the aroma of coffee, so she must be up. He knocked again, a little more loudly this time, and the door finally opened. "Mrs. Janeway?" Gretchen stepped outside and pulled the door closed behind her. Chakotay held out the plate of rolls and smiled. "Good morning, Ma'am, I'm Chakotay, Commander Chakotay, Voyager's first officer, from next door. Admiral Paris introduced us at one of the receptions. I made Kathryn some caramel rolls, Ma'am."

She offered a slight smile as she took the plate. "Thank you, Katie's still asleep, but I'm sure she'll enjoy them. Her sister Phoebe told me you're the one that pulled her out of the pool and beamed her to Starfleet Medical and saved her life. Thank you."

"Of course, Ma'am, I just wish I'd seen her sooner."

"Well, thank you again and have a good day, Commander," Gretchen replied as she went back inside and shut the door behind her.

Chakotay went back home, dejectedly sat at the kitchen table and drank several mugs of tea. He was suddenly glad he hadn't spent the night at Kathryn's house as that might have looked bad when her mother arrived, especially if Kathryn woke up, realized he wasn't Mark and started screaming and yelling. He spent most of the day finishing up cleaning out the hut tub and refilling it and doing various odd jobs, while trying to keep tabs on what was going on next door. Other than seeing Mrs. Janeway walk around the yard, apparently looking at the flowers and trees and the diving board, he didn't notice any other activity next door. Chakotay was tired from not sleeping well the night before, so he made dinner early with the intention of going to bed early.

He settled into a comfortable chair on the back deck to read until it got too dark to do so, but was having a hard time concentrating on the book. As he reached over to the side table to pick up his mug of tea, he saw a flash of pink in his peripheral vision and looked up to see Kathryn standing there.

She smiled slightly and said, "Hello, sorry to disturb you, but I brought your plate back. The caramel rolls were delicious, thank you."

He stood, took it from her and motioned to the other chair. "Please, have a seat. Would you like some tea? I just made a pot, jasmine, your favorite."

She stared idly at a pot of flowers and finally sat down. "Pretty geraniums. Yes, thank you, that would be nice."

"Have you had dinner yet? Would you like something to eat?"

"No, thank you, my mother fixed me dinner before she left," she replied, with a still somewhat vacant look to her eyes.

He returned with the tea and put out a small dish of candies as well before he sat back down. "You look better today, Kathryn, that's a pretty dress. How are you feeling?"

She took a sip of her tea. "Good tea, thanks. I feel much better today, the headache is almost gone and my throat doesn't hurt anymore, but I still seem to be a little disoriented sometimes and feel kind of tired and achy all over. I don't remember the accident at all, I only remember waking up in the hospital, but Mom says you're the one that pulled me out of the pool, did CPR, got me to the hospital and saved my life, so I want to say thank you."

"You're very welcome. Kathryn, this is going to sound like a dumb question, but do you know who I am and how you know me, do you know my name?"

She giggled a little. "Gee, and I thought I was the one with memory problems? Yes, Chakotay, of course I know who you are and how we met and all, but what I don't know is what happened to us."

"Well, I don't exactly know either, but I do know I did something really stupid that hurt you and I'm very truly and deeply sorry I did. I tried to talk to you before, to tell you nothing happened with Seven and to apologize, but you wouldn't talk to me, not that I blame you. I hope you'll accept my apology and we can be friends again; I've missed you so much." She didn't react, so he added, "If it'll help, I'll get down on my knees and beg, I'll do anything you ask, Kathryn, if you'll just be my friend again."

She gave him a crooked little smile. "With dimples like those, who could resist? Pour me some more tea and we'll call it even, I wasn't exactly a good friend to you either." When he refilled her mug, she went on. "I have some apologizing to do too, I stole some parts off your lawn mower."

He laughed, "Even again, I'm the one that broke yours. I bought you a new one, it's in my shed. Oh, I'm sorry about the gnome too and complaining about your lawn. Oh, and about all those religious cults…"

She touched his arm and laughed, "Let's just call that one a draw, shall we? Oh, I'm sorry about your vegetable garden, I'll replant it for you."

He looked over at his large backyard garden. "What? What did you do? I watered it this afternoon, the seeds are all coming up just fine, neat little rows: beans, corn, beets, radishes, squash, herbs, cucumbers..."

She stood to look at it and giggled. "Yes, well about that…. In a couple more days I think you'll find all you're growing are carrots and leolas. Oh, sorry about the hot tub, if there's any damage to it, I'll pay for it."

He walked over and turned it on. "See, no problem, in fact it works even better now, whatever you did really helped. Feel free to use it any time you want."

Thanks, I just might, I'm still stiff and sore. Oh, feel free to use my pool, it's heated."

"Thanks. Kathryn, if you're stiff and sore, why don't you go change and you can use the hot tub right now? If you want your privacy, I'll go in the house and leave you alone, or maybe we could talk a little more?"

She looked at the warm steaming water swirling in the hot tub. "Yes, I think that's a good idea, it would probably really help and I think we need to talk more. I'll be right back, thank you."

Kathryn changed into her swimsuit and returned in a few minutes. Chakotay changed into his as well, replicated a pitcher of fruit punch, sliced up a small melon and sat them out beside the hot tub. As Kathryn stood, poised at the side of the tub, he realized she might have difficulty climbing down into it, so he jumped in and offered her his hand. "Here, I'll help you in." When she was about waist deep, she froze, so Chakotay asked, "What's wrong, too hot?"

"No, it's just the water, I mean…"

He smiled reassuringly as he took her arm. "It's OK, Kathryn, I understand. Take it slow and you don't have to get in if you don't want to, but you know what they say about falling off a horse. I won't let go until you're comfortable and I'll stay with you if you want."

"Yes, thanks, just give me a minute, I'll be OK. I have to do this otherwise I'll never be able to take a bath again." she giggled. Eventually Kathryn sat down, relaxed and sighed. "How did it start Chakotay? I don't mean who did what first, but how did we go from being such good friends to hating each other so much?"

He sat back and thought for a moment. "I'm not really sure. I felt like you were pushing me away from you and, unfortunately, Seven was right there, ready to take your hand me down. She played me like a fiddle and manipulated me more easily than a Q. When I finally came to my senses and went to tell her it was over, she beat me to the punch and tossed me out like a piece of trash a couple days after we got back, while we were still at DS9." His dimples flared. "Apparently her Aunt got a hold of her and told her she could do better. I tired to talk to you, but I know you were upset and getting raked over the coals by the debriefing committee, and I can't blame you for not wanting to talk to me. You were mad at what I did, I was mad at myself and at you for not being willing to talk to me and I guess it just snowballed from there. I think it all boils down to stubbornness, ego and, above all, a lack of communication."

"I agree, I think that's it. I was having trouble keeping a balance between protocol and persona, being both Kathryn and the captain, not wanting what I shouldn't have and not having what I wanted. Unfortunately, instead of discussing it with you, I kept it to myself and, you're right, I did withdraw and attempt to isolate myself, classic example of avoiding a problem instead of confronting it. I admit, when I found out about you and Seven through the grapevine I did feel betrayed, both because you chose to keep it from me and because you didn't want me. There's no way I could compete with her, she was younger and gorgeous and she could give all of herself to you, something I couldn't do."

"Kathryn, you're wrong about that, you're a hundred times the woman she is, a thousand! Just so you know, it was awkward at best and didn't go far physically or emotionally, and I can honestly tell you there was no love involved. I think it was just two people who desperately wanted something that the other didn't have to give." He popped a piece of melon in his mouth and chewed it slowly. "So, I guess the question now is, where do we go from here?"

Kathryn finally totally relaxed, leaned back and spread her arms along the edge of the tub. "Dinner?"

He smiled and moved a little closer to her. "OK, that sounds like a good start. How about I take you out to dinner tomorrow night?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know that I'm quite up to going out yet, maybe in a couple more days. I'm supposed to take it easy."

"Well then, how about you come over here for a casual Sunday dinner tomorrow night at six? I'll fix something special and we can just relax and take it easy."

"Yes, thank you, that sounds nice. Mom found a couple more boxes of my clothes, so she's bringing them over after breakfast tomorrow and she's going to help me arrange my closet and bureaus and go through my clothes, as half of them are either out of style or don't fit anymore. She has to leave by three, so that'll give me time to take a nap and get ready. May I bring anything?

"No, just you! If you and your mom need any help, just call me. What would you like for dinner, Kathryn?"

"Surprise me!" Kathryn replied as she laid her head back and closed her eyes.

Chakotay kept an eye on her, knowing how terrifying it would be if she fell asleep and slipped under the water. He watched her and marveled at how pretty she was and how happy he was to have her back in his life. His thoughts again drifted back to last night, when she called him Mark, and he wondered if she thought she had spent the day with him or it was just a slip of the tongue? Eventually Chakotay decided not to ever mention it, for it would only upset her, either that she couldn't remember it or that she had made the mistake.

Kathryn's eyes suddenly opened as she lost her grip on the sides of the tub, started to slip down and flail. Chakotay flew across the tub and grabbed her before her head went under the water. He put his arms around her and held her. "It's OK, Kathryn, you just fell asleep, I think. I'm here, you're fine, you're safe, don't cry."

"Chakotay, it all just came back to me, the accident, the hospital… the diving board broke and…"

"Shhh, it's OK, you're safe now. C'mon, let's get out and I'll take you home."

She relaxed and sat back. "No, I remember it now, I want to remember it, I need to. The diving board broke, I jumped up and, when I came down, I heard it snap, and I remember my head hurt, it hurt so bad, and then I was floating and trying to hold on to something." She was silent for a few moments before she went on, "The next thing I remember was that I was in the hospital and my head hurt so bad and they were trying to shove something down my throat and it hurt and I wanted to yell, to fight, to tell them to stop, but I couldn't. I remember floating again and someone was brushing my hair and telling me to wake up, but I couldn't. It was my sister, yes, my sister was there and so was my mother, but I couldn't see them. Coffee, I remember smelling coffee, I had some coffee! Oh, that's silly, isn't it?" She giggled, "Knowing me, maybe they put it in my IV? You, you were there too, Chakotay, I remember that too."

"Yes, I came to see you and I had the coffee, I thought maybe it would make you wake up…"

"Wake up and smell the coffee?" she laughed as she settled back against his side. "I remember you held my hand and told me you were sorry and I wanted to tell you I was sorry too, but I couldn't." She paused and then turned her head to look him in the eyes. "I didn't want to leave without telling you that I loved you. Chakotay, you kissed me and told me you loved me, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did. I know it sounds silly, but I was thinking of that old fairy tale about Sleeping Beauty and I thought it might work."

Kathryn wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. "Well, maybe it did? All I know is that I wanted so desperately to come back."

"Well, I for one am very very glad you did! It's late, how about we get out and get dried off and I walk you home?" She nodded, so he helped her from the tub and got her wrapped in a towel as they started for the short walk to her door. "It's chilly now! Come on, let's get you home before you catch a chill and promise me you'll go to bed early and get your rest."

She held up her hand, "I promise. Goodnight, Chakotay, and thanks again, I think the hot tub got the kinks out of both my body and my soul. I'll see you tomorrow at six."

"Goodnight, Kathryn, see you tomorrow."

The next evening Kathryn arrived a little after six, but Chakotay was glad she was late as it took him a little longer to prepare dinner than he thought it would. Kathryn handed him a casserole dish as she said, "Sorry I'm late! I tried to do something with my hair, but, as you can see, I failed miserably. Mom insisted on making some pea salad for us and she wants us to come to dinner at her house next Sunday, if you'd like. Wow, the table looks nice, we're eating outside?"

Chakotay took the dish and put it on the table. "Yes, it's such a lovely evening, I thought we'd dine al fresco." He took the lid off the casserole and sniffed. "Smells good! Pea salad, I've never heard of that, how do you make it and should I heat it up?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea, you'll have to ask Mom, but it's good and you're supposed to eat it cold. I'm famished, what's for dinner?"

He pulled out her chair and smiled. "You'll just have to wait and see! Please have a seat and may I say that you look positively radiant this evening."

"My, how formal!" she giggled as she took her seat.

During dinner they caught up on the latest Voyager and Starfleet gossip, their families, what they'd been doing since their return and how they happened to come to be neighbors in Primrose Acres. It turned out it was purely coincidental, Kathryn's real estate agent had merely shown her the house along with about a dozen others and Chakotay had been referred to the property by a rental agent, although they had both decided upon the neighborhood for the same reasons: the lovely setting, peace and quiet and guaranteed privacy. Kathryn had trouble recalling something here and there, but she seemed to be almost totally recovered from her accident and they slipped into the easy banter their friendship had always had.

When they had finished coffee and dessert Kathryn asked, "Well, aren't you going to invite me in? I'd really like to see your house, Chakotay."

He suddenly became nervous. "Well, uh, no, it's kind of messy, Kathryn. I'd rather wait until I'm finished getting it together, maybe sometime next week?"

She giggled. "Is there something in there you don't want me to see? Heaven knows my house is a mess and you've seen it, so why can't I see your house? I'd really like to see it."

He put his elbows on the table and propped his chin on his hands. "Kathryn, the truth is my house stinks… literally. Those caterer guys spilled some food and the monks and skinny tie guys were trying to out-incense each other and were burning all that horrible incense. I don't know what it is, but I cleaned the carpets, wiped down everything and even washed all the curtains and drapes and upholstery and the house still reeks. I've had the windows open, turned the ventilation up to max, set out a dozen air fresheners and cleaned everything washable, but it still smells awful! In fact, the more I clean and ventilate, the worse it seems to get, I just don't… Kathryn, what are you laughing about? It's not funny, it stinks!"

"Like cow shit?"

"Well, yeah, I guess."

"Oops!" she said as she turned red and covered her face with her hands. "I think I have one more thing to apologize for. You know all those cow pies you dumped on my lawn? Well, I had to put them somewhere and they kind of ended up in the crawl space under your house… sort of… kind of.

"Kathryn, you didn't!"

"I'm sorry, but I did and I didn't remember it 'til now. Let me go home and change into some old clothes and I'll clean them out, bag them up, put them in my car and dump them back in the cow pasture, but you'll have to drive because the doctor told me not to yet."

"OK, but just sit here, I'll change and crawl under there and clean them out, you're probably not supposed to be doing anything like that yet, OK?"

"OK, but please let me make it up to you and pay for anything that got ruined. Chakotay, I'm sorry."

"Well, I shouldn't have put them on your lawn, but I will give you credit for coming up with a very innovative way of getting rid of them!"

They had a good laugh as Chakotay crawled under the house and shoveled out mounds of cow dung into trash bags as Kathryn held them open. He had bought an entire case of deodorizer and spread what he hadn't used indoors under the house to get rid of any residual smell and placed fans to air out the crawl space. "There, that should do it! It's getting late, let's go dump the bags back in the cow pasture and I think it's time to call it a day."

Kathryn got an evil look to her face and started giggling. "I think I have a better idea! Do you have any scrap wood, wire and glue?"

He took off his gloves and scratched his head. "Yeah, in the shed, why?"

"You'll see!"

On Monday afternoon Chakotay returned from teaching a little after four and joined Kathryn, who was sitting beside her pool reading. She looked up and smiled, "You sure look nice! How was your day?"

He sat in the chair beside her as she poured him a lemonade. "Thanks. It was fine, I'm really enjoying it, I have some very good students. Did you go to the doctor today? What did he say?"

"I'm fine, no marathon running for a couple more days and I have to go back next Monday, but he says I'll be good as new." She handed him a PADD. "Here, read the article on top of page six of the evening paper, I think you'll enjoy it."

Chakotay's smile grew as he read aloud: "Police were called to the prestigious community of Primrose Acres early this morning, to the home of society matron Mrs. Margaret Peabody Wentworth and her husband Reginald Archibald Cosgrove Wentworth III, Chairman of the Board of Wentworth Industries. Apparently pranksters vandalized the Wentworth's property overnight, leaving a huge statue resembling Mrs. Wentworth's prize winning champion Poodle, Madame Fifi Angelique d'Avignon, in the center of the Wentworth's award winning rose garden located on their front lawn. Upon examination by police, it was determined the statue had been fashioned almost entirely from cow manure. According to police, Mrs. Wentworth demanded a full scale criminal investigation, however Police Officer Regina Talavera said it was unwarranted as police believe it was nothing more than a prank by neighborhood children and no actual damage was done. Neighbors of the Wentworth's, who did not wish to be identified, citied that Mrs. Wentworth is not popular with neighborhood children and added that they thought the statue was an excellent artistic rendition of her Poodle and thought the medium befit the owner. Mrs. Wentworth could not be reached for comment." By the time he was finished reading, Chakotay had tears running down his cheeks from laughing so hard. "Oh, Kathryn, spirits, that was so funny! You know, seeing what you're like as an enemy, I'm very very glad that we're friends again."

"Me too," Kathryn replied as she reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. "How about you let me fix you dinner?"

"You won't try to poison me, will you?"

"No more than I usually do, see you at six," she said as she got up from her chair and gave him a quick kiss.

"What was that for?"

"Appetizer," she said as she ran into the house giggling."

Chakotay sat back in his chair and smiled. "I can't wait to see what's for dessert!"

**THE END**

05/10/08


End file.
